Showing posts with label fsm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fsm. Show all posts

Friday, 28 August 2009

God Might Exist, But You're Wrong

Recently I read an article in New York Times about the on going battle between atheists and theists:

It is actually a very interesting article on how both atheists and theists could be wrong. You see the products of evolution, i.e. us, was a result of thousands of years of a selection process called Natural Selection, more popularly known as Survival of The Fittest. It makes sure that the fittest organisms in terms of physical and mental ability are allowed to live. And so, the most successful organisms in the world are...
If you said human beings, nice try. But the answer is insects.
But human beings are the most advanced product of evolution, we being capable of doing fantastic feats such as watching HBO for 6 hours straight, using the word "simply" in all the wrong places ("What are you doing here man?" - "Just standing simply"), or enduring a Vijay movie. But the point this article makes is that how did we gain characteristics like honesty, sincerity etc., when survival of the fittest supports characteristics which are directly or indirectly selfish. Th article argues that this gap in the explanation of human nature could be the hand of a being above us, preferrably God (but I hope its the Flying Spaghetti Monster).
There is a flipside to this argument which is also mentioned in the article. This God is most definitely not the God that is in any of the holy books. That makes both theists and the atheists wrong.
What makes me wonder is, even after thousands of years of evolution, how did we ever manage to fool ourselves into believing religion? Wouldn't you laugh your guts out when you hear of God's own fantastic feats? ("Hey Bob, you remember that guy we stripped, mocked, flogged and crucified 3 days ago? Well you ain't gonna believe this, but he's alive."). Lord Krishna probably had Google Earth inside his mouth because when somebody saw his mouth open, they saw "the world" inside. Why does the Pope alone have a direct hotline connection to God?
God may have made sense to some people, but religion doesn't.
***

Got this from the Net:

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.1. Life is not fair - get used to it!

2. The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

3. You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

6. If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

7. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

9. Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

10. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.


Ciao

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Flying Spaghetti Monster


Sometimes I wish I believed in God. Because I'm used saying things like "oh my God", "Thank God", "Holy shit" etc. But it doesn't feel right to say "oh my evolution", "Thank Darwin" or "Evolutionary shit". So I decided that I would believe in a religion that requires like least set of things to do... like not having to go to the temple or Sunday mass, not having to feed crows before we eat during festivities etc. And I found just what I was looking for.

Welcome to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was founded by a man named Bobby Henderson to oppose the Kansas State Education dept. for opting to teach Intelligent Design theory as against evolution. The Intelligent Design theory, for those who don't know, proposes that, "certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection." Thus it implies that the "intelligent designer" is God. This theory is the only defense for the religious men against overwhelming evidence of evolution.

But Henderson thought differently. The intelligent designer doesn't need to be God. It could be even a really smart omnipotent lawnmower. Or it could be the Flying Spaghetti Monster(here onward referred to as FSM since I hate typing long words). FSM created the world after getting heavily drunk. There are also other beliefs such as

1. All "evidence" for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith — a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage.

2. The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have STDs.

3. The official conclusion to prayers is "RAmen".

It even has its own version of the Ten Commandments, but only eight.

The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"
1. I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.

2. I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey-Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

4. I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is "go fuck yourself," unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go on a walk for a change.

5. I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the bastards.

6. I'd really rather you didn't build multi-million dollar churches / temples / mosques / shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):

*Ending poverty
*Curing diseases
*Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable

I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.

7. I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?

8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.

Since it is such an easy religion to follow, I've accepted and embraced it. Hope you will also to.

May His Noodly Appendage be with us.
RAmen