Top 5 Movies You Shouldn't Miss This Semester...uh...I Mean This Season

Back in the day dial-up modems were cool, when people were bored, they'd just log in to Yahoo Messenger, go into their favourite chatrooms and chat with some random guy. Now when you go into a chatroom, all you see is guys posing as girls who want to take your **** and **** you so badly your **** is sore for 2 weeks. There is so much evil in this world. Chatrooms are prehistoric. Tweets and scraps are the cool stuff.

All I wanted to know was how to fabricate a PCB...and they wouldn't tell me! Instead they want to take my **** and **** me so badly my **** is sore for 2 weeks. Well, **** them!!!

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After so much talk about movies, it should be obvious to you that I am a movie junkie. Before the exam started, I was supposed to prepare, which involves me in my room with a book in my lap thinking about how sexy Megan Fox would look in Jennifer's Body. During this same period, I also collected DVDs of movies that I shouldn't watch till the exams are over, like little squirrels collecting nuts for the winter season. Now I'm spending so much time deciding which ones to watch now because All the movies I got are equally good. But I separated the cream of the crop for you, my dear eggs.

So the top 5 movies you shouldn't miss this semester...uh...I mean this season are

5. State Of Play starring Ben Affleck, Russel Crowe, Rachel McAdams.

State Of Play is the sort of movie that gives you a feeling of reading a good novel. This one gave me the feeling of reading a Grisham novel, Pelican Brief to be exact. Ben Affleck plays a US Senator whose secretary is killed in a freak accident. Russel Crowe and Rachel McAdams are two investigative reporters who uncover the truth behind her death as Russel struggles to be both truthful to his own profession and loyal to his longtime friend Affleck.

Reasons to watch:

• Rachel McAdams is insanely hot.
• A damn good ending.
• Lots of twists keep you watching.

4. Orphan starring some actors whose names I don't remember or bother to look up in the IMDB.

There's a not so happy family with a not so happy mother recovering from alcoholism and depression caused by their stillborn daughter. The mother decides to adopt an orphan to get over the sadness. They adopt a Russian born girl Esther. Everything seems to be fine in the beginning but soon people are getting killed and the mother struggles to find out the truth about Esther.

Reasons to watch:

• Omen styled horror movie that you just love to watch.
• Deviation from the conventional thrillers. Director makes intentional build ups and lets them fuzz out and you realise that its pretty cool.
• Seems ridiculous in the beginning, makes a lot of sense in the end when the secrets are revealed.

3. Zombieland starring Woody Harrelson, Abigail Breslin, Emma Stone and a new guy whose name I don't know.

This movie is a makes fun of all zombie movies like Dawn Of The Dead, Resident Evil etc. The whole world is infected by a virus turning people into zombies. A college student unaffected by the virus, returns home to find out if his parents survived the epidemic. On his way he meets Woody and they team up with the other two girls and help each other survive and make us laugh in the process.

Reasons to watch:

• A funny zombie movie in a long time since Shaun Of The Dead.
• Good solid acting.

2. District 9 starring nobodies. All of them South African actors who speak in a funny accent. Fock!

Debutante director Neil Blomkamp was supposed to direct the Halo movie. But since that project was on a halt, he decided to make a movie about an aliens coming to earth. Its a completely different treatment of the alien concept. Its easy to forget that this is Neil's first movie.
An alien space ship lands in Johannesburg, South Africa. It turns out that the aliens are refugees, seeking shelter in earth. A whole district in Johannesburg is turned into a refugee camp. The district turns into a slum and humans don't cope up with the aliens very well and the government decides to move them to a new place with the help of a private weapons manufacturer. The leader of the team which is in charge of the operation is exposed to the alien technology and is forced to help the aliens save themselves in return of their help to save his life.

Reasons to watch:

• Aliens don't land in Washington DC but instead in Johannesburg.
• Really professional, serious movie making from the director.

1. Inglourious Basterds starring Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger

Its World War 2 and a group of Jewish soldiers called Basterds led by Brad Pitt are in Germany whose sole purpose is to spread fear among the Nazi forces by brutally executing them. During their mission they come across cinema hall whose audiences are mostly Nazis. Basterds are immediately interested in the cinema hall. The owner has her own reasons for having a Nazi cinema premiere. And it all boils down to one evening that will change the course of history.

Reasons to watch:

• Directed by Quentin Tarantino.
• Do you need a better reason?

If you are wondering why 2012 didn't make it to this list, its because its a movie in which a large number of people die and the hero and his family mirculously escape. It has happened before in the movie Day After Tomorrow and its happening again now. Nothing special.

Leave your comments below. Enjoy your holidays.

Ciao

P.S.: Oh I forgot to mention. The best comment wins a Google Wave invite.

Paranoid Insurance Ads

Hello my fellow eggs...it has been a while. I had my semester exams and I had to focus.

I'd love to write about all the things I missed because of these exams but there is an important issue that I have to focus on before that.

Insurance advertisements.

They've become a nuisance when you are watching TV. There was a time when insurance was just life insurance. Now there's health insurance, property insurance and other stuff. And they don't stop there, they've got retirement plans, pension plans, mutual funds etc. But do you know the worst kind? Child plans. The worst thing about them is not the idea of insuring a child, I think its a great idea actually. But the adverts...that's the bad part.

A family is having a happy dinner. Mom and dad are eating with their little kid. The kid suddenly asks "Have you thought about it?". Dad asks, "About what?". The kid says, "My future". The dad looks like he's constipated. Then some guy says that they can secure their child's future by their child plans.

WTF? I know the easiest way to secure an 8 year old's future - by making sure he finishes tomorrow's home work. What else has a kid got to worry about? Global warming? Are we to think that a school kid will worry about his career because of job cuts due to economical meltdown?

By the way, the best insurance ads are from ICICI. They always feature happy couples.

***

Most of you will be wondering what happened to my "Eggman Goes To Thanjavur - Part 2", I promised you. I really did try to write part 2 but I couldn't write more than 2 lines. I just ended up browsing something else on the net. So I thought I would drop part 2. There was a valuable lesson I learned from that. I could never write a book. I probably won't make it to chapter 2.

For those of you still wanting to find out what happened when we got to Thanjavur : We did the presentation but it didn't stand a chance against the path finding robot PSG Tech guys did - they even brought a working model. I spent the rest of the day at Thanjavur Big Temple (crude translation of Periya Kovil) with a friend. I did manage to get past prelims in quiz but I didn't want to spend the night for a crappy quiz. I left for Chennai that night.

***
There's a thing about remade movies that I hate. Remakes are the easy way to success. Some directors can utilize that very well. But others just make a scene-by-scene copy of whatever the original version was. The difference will be the language spoken. We used to do something simpler in the past. Its called dubbing.

Some are remakes are really good. There was a recent Unnai Pol Oruvan (A Wednesday in Hindi). Billa was ok. I mean, it was stylish, but there was just too much build up and you get sick of watching Ajith walk in slow motion and talking in a monotone in the first half. SRK looked as slick as the Big B himself in the Don remake.

There was a Vasoolraja MBBS (Munnabhai MBBS in Hindi). It had the same storyline. But the locales are different, the plot rewritten to suit Tamil audiences. You might have noticed that remakes with Kamal Haasan end up successful. Auvai Shanmugi was no exception (Mrs. Doubtfire in English).

So if you're wondering what I'm  building up to, its Kanden Kaathalai. The only reason I wanted to watch the movie was because Tamannah Bhatia was in it (Fact : She's only 19 years old. She was paid 50 lakhs to work in her last movie. I'm also 19 years old. You know where I'm getting at.). The director made it no secret that it was a remake of Jab We Met. Since I was already impressed with that movie, I wanted to see how the director had improvised. The only improvisation I saw in that movie was the inclusion of a comical relief Santhanam. Most of the dialogues are literal translations of the hindi dialogues and it didn't suit the characters.

If Tamil directors should ever think of making good remakes in the future, I advice them to watch Ocean's 11 (Yes, Ocean's 11 is a remake). And not to watch Ocean's 12 because it sort of sucked.

Ciao

P.S I'm in holidays and I hope to make frequent posts of short length rather than long ones once a week. But I sure could use a little motivation. Leave a f***ing comment!

Eggman goes to Thanjavur!!! -Part 1

Hello my friends from the blogosphere! It' been quite a while since my last post. You probably won't believe me if I tell you that I was busy preparing for my model exams. So I'm just gonna say I was busy with some stuff. Oh I'm still suffering from sleep deprivation ever since I'd visited Thanjavur. Yes I've crossed the Chennai border which I haven't done in a long time. The last time I went out of city was like a year ago when my mom took me to a shitty temple in somewhere in on the way to Andhra. I never bothered to remember its name. And the last time I went out of city on my own was like...never. So why would a person like me who travels so little went to Thanjavur?

I know a bloke who knows a bloke. Now this bloke used all his leisure time to work on a paper while I was playing Prototype. This paper was surprisingly good, so good that he won a few paper presentation competitions, and made quite some money, close to five grand. Now you all know how my last attempt to make money worked out like. Yes, I'm referring to the interview incident. Compared to that, this method seemed very lucrative to me. I have to work on a paper which doesn't necessarily have to be my work. All I had to do was to convince the judges that it was really my paper. Like showing them some real references, make a circuit board or a model and there you go! An original paper by a 3rd year BE student.

And so started my quest for a suitable topic. Experienced people in this business said that a paper has more chance of getting selected if it is about a relatively unknown topic. So while I was googling for new technologies, MEMS caught my eye. MEMS stands for Micro Electro Mechanical Systems. It was perfect. Well, the name sounds sophisticated. That was good enough for me.

After 42 man hours of research and typing, my paper was ready: Adaptive Cruise Control system using RF MEMS (RF stands for radio frequency). I got it evaluated by a couple of my professors. Both of them said the same thing - I was going to have a hard time convincing the judges that it was my own work. They told me to make a circuit board or a working model. That wasn't going to happen because commercially available Adaptive Cruise Control system costs nearly $1000. Not rupees, but dollars. To make the modifications that my paper proposed will cost more. And it isn't available in India. So add some overseas courier charges and you have double the cost original cost of the setup. That's low cost technology for you. And me.

So with the working model out of the question, the paper was a goner. Now I wasn't going to throw away 42 hours of work just like that. So I sent it to this symposium they were conducting at SASTRA University called Sakshama.

7 days after sending the paper, I'd given up on the paper as no intimation was sent to me. But it turned out that they did send me one. Its just that GMail decided to play games with me. I didn't receive it but my team mate Chimbao got it. But he never bothered to check his emails because intimation will be sent to both the team mates all the time so if i didn't get it, so did he. One day before the deadline for confirmation, Chimbao went to play Mafia Wars in Facebook and decided to check his emails while he waited for the game to load. And there it was...like Meg Ryan in my bedroom...the intimation (I used the Meg Ryan metaphor to imply that it was the last thing we expected to see).

For those of you who didn't know, SASTRA University is located in the outskirts of Thanjavur, about 40 minutes from the proper town. All the while I worked on my lucrative money making scheme i never considered travel. 228 people were on the waiting list for the train to Thanjavur. Thankfully we got super deluxe bus tickets to Thanjavur.

And that was how I was in the bus to Thanjavur on 9th October 2009. And then what happened? Did I get to Thanjavur? Did my new money making attempt work? Did I finally get Meg Ryan on my bed? Log on to www.placeformwords.blogspot.com in 3 or 4 days or probably a week to find out.

Ciao

Life Is.

Do you know that one of the best father-son moments happen in my life during the weekends when my father wants me to clean up the car?

"Hey son, c'mon lets clean up the car, we haven't cleaned it for a long time..."

"...er..."

"Open up the garage and take the car out. I'll be right behind you."

10 mins later:

"I see that you started cleaning up the car...good. You take the left side and I'll take the right. Just let me make this call and I'll be right with you."

30 mins later:

"Oh you cleaned up the car...great. You could've waited up for me. Now put the car back in the garage and lock up."

5 mins later:

"Ok, you're done. Now stop wasting time and go prepare for your tests."

"But dad, my tests ended last week!"

"Well then, prepare for the next one."

"But dad...."

"No buts. Now go."

Perfect sunday.

***

There was this really funny application in facebook. It will ask people a series of question and after answering them, it will tell you which important event of your life will be interrupted by Kanye West!

It all started during MTV awards. Taylor Swift got the award for best music video and she went up the stage for her acceptance speech and there he was, Kanye West, jumping out of nowhere. He grabbed the mic from a seemingly stunned Taylor and started talking about how Beyonce's entry for the award was way better than Taylor's and that it was Beyonce who rightfully deserves to be awarded. The incident ended with Kanye being escorted out of the award show.

So according to this crazy facebook app, what event of my life was going to be interrupted by Kanye? My marriage! "Beyonce's marriage with Jay-Z was waaaaaaaaaaay better than yours man!" But I feel sorry for one of my friends who's first time doing "you-know-what" with his girlfriend will be interrupted by Kanye!

***

Life is _______________.

Ever tried to fill up that blank? One of the most bizarrely spent time in someone's life, according to me, is thinking about the purpose of life. I use the word bizarre because you can't define whether it is useful or useless to think about the purpose of life. Because, when you figure it out, you wouldn't know if you got it right. Even if you did get it right, you might not be brave enough to change yourself to your purpose. Don't tell me, "I know what the purpose of my life is! I'm a dentist and my purpose is to rid the world the evil of plaque!". Say that out loud and it will sound stupid even to you. You probably ended up becoming a dentist because your cut off wasn't enough to get you a medical seat. You're probably a Hindu because your parents are. You prefer wearing briefs because your mom didn't buy you boxers when you were little. So many things we do, without thinking why we are doing it. And the beauty is, every moment you think about these things, in some strange way, you are also wasting time.

So as I was walking in the rain on my way home from college, I thought to myself, why bother? Its just going to be one life time for me (unless the creationists are right), so why bother? Just take a moment to appreciate life. Ever looked up the sky when it was raining and saw a rain drop falling down? I think its exhilarating. One part of you wants you to close your eyes because it will fall right on your eyes. The other part of you doesn't care of it falls on your eyes, it just wants you to see that spectacle.

So don't try to fill up that blank. It'll come to you. Until then, Life is.

"I love the rain. It helps me think."

-Violent Marv in Sin City Comics

Ciao

Kandasamy Review + An Eventful Saturday COMBO!!!

Yes, I have watched this season's most expected film, Kandasamy, and boy...what a movie it was. But before I get on with the review, I thought it would be interesting to tell you how I ended up watching the movie that I was so sure I would watch it only on its TV premiere.

So here's the thing, its the first weekend after the end of my ever existing cycle test and I finally got a breather. So I decided to spend it with some friends. Let me explain my plan to you in a nutshell. Its more like an algorithm so I am putting it down in points. This is what was supposed to happen before that plan was sabotaged by God (whose existence is disputed by men like me):

Before sabotage:

• Get on a bus and go to Ambattur.
• Go to my friend Y's place and give him some softwares he needed.
• Go to Hyderabad Biriyani Centre and gain 4 more pounds of fat.
• Go to another friend Don's place and give him some games.
• Show him how to play games.
• Explore other ways to waste time. Improvise.
• Get back home.

But this is what happened.

After sabotage:

• I got into a bus and was on my way to Ambattur. But Y sends me a message that there was a power cut and there wasn't going to be any power till 5.
• I use some of my quick thinking abilities and decide I'll go to the Don's place.
• But he's not available. For some strange reason, the Don, who is incapable of speaking even Tamil without a Hindi accent, has gone to German language tuition.
• So I head back home...to find it locked.
• It seems one of my uncles got a heart attack and my parents went to visit him. How nice of them. The only problem with that was, they locked the house and took the key with them. Its going to be a solid 3 hours before they get back home. How not so nice.
• So I employed my quick thinking powers again and come to a conclusion that it was best to go somewhere where I would be engaged for such a duration. A movie theatre seemed like a very good decision at that time.

And that's how I ended up watching Kandasamy. Now, for the review...:

Superhero Kandasamy - Review

Ever gone to a place and wondered why in the hell did you go there? That was exactly how I felt halfway through the movie.

Kandasamy was expected to be one of the big players in the movie releases this season. No other movie had so much hype. It was also the first movie to release a teaser trailer even before official shooting. Naturally people had high expectations. Everything was perfectly set for the director Susi Ganesan - an all-star cast of Vikram, Shriya, Prabhu & Vadivelu. So when you start wondering whatever could have gone wrong with the movie, the answer comes after half an hour of watching the movie - everything.

Vikram stars as a brilliant, young, charismatic blah blah CBI officer named Kandasamy. He clashes with big industrialists who stock up black money and ruin poor people's lives. Simultaneously, a mysterious character dressed up as a cock (a male chicken; no pun intended), named Kandsasamy helps people with their miseries, like sending money to the poor, beating up dishonest police officer etc. And you don't need to be a genius to figure out that they are both the same guy.

Ashish Vidhyarthi plays PPP, a run-off-the-mill ruthless businessman who is incapable of human emotions whose financial secrets are brought into the open by Kandasamy, the CBI officer. To delay arrest, PPP acts as a paralysed fellow even before his own daughter, Shreya. Shreya decides to take revenge for her father and uses her womanly ways. In the mix is an another IT mogul who likes to have mini bachelor parties in his travelling bedroom. They all get crossed by superhero Kandasamy and they all decide to hit hard on the man behind the mask.

I found the movie very tiring. It seemed as if a mix of Sivaji The Boss, Anniyan, Gentleman and other such movies is what Kandasamy is. The ridiculous costumes don't help the cause. Characters in the movie are all standard stereotypes. And the only thing that keeps you watching is Shreya's neckline which keeps dropping throughout the movie. Prabhu embarasses himself in Vadivelu's interrogation scene and Vadivelu has lost his talent to crack jokes.

To sum it all up, Kandasamy is the sort of movie which makes you wonder whatever the hell you are doing in the cinema theatre.

1 star out of 5

Ciao

P.S.: I wrote this two weeks ago but I couldn't publish it because of some problems with my pc.